


Growth

by killertennis



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:48:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24602635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killertennis/pseuds/killertennis
Summary: Ryoma and Kirumi chat about what happened during the killing game.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Growth

The last thing Kirumi had felt before her final breath was slamming into was a fuzzy yet solid metal object, which not only knocked the wind out of her, but had killed her only mere seconds after hitting the cold concrete floor, completely crushing the object below her. Blood had spilled, and all of her friends watched. They wanted her to survive, they had a powerful need for her to survive. 

Even after what she had done to him.

_____________

Ryoma had been staring at the water in front of him, the strange atmosphere of wherever he was made him both uncomfortable and secure, maybe even safe. After being drowned, he definitely had another reason to hate the water, his other being sharks, specifically Whitetip Reef Sharks. 

He couldn't help but stare back at his reflection in the water, wondering what could've been if he had changed his mind just a bit earlier. Maybe he could've helped stop the mastermind, or maybe he should've just been a better person. 

The water hurt his lungs. You start trying to breathe and water builds up, which leads to coughing and shallow breaths, which leads to more water being forced inside of you, hoping for that one air bubble below the water that could free you. But of course, the air bubble never came. Just the pain and shock of waking up underwater, inside of a sink he never even knew had, was terrifying. Above everything, with water going into every opening in his face, he started thrashing. 

He didn't want to die.

He didn't want to die.

He didn't want to die.

Ryoma thrashed to get the handcuffs off, or to even get Kirumi's hands off of him long enough for one shallow breath. He could feel the cuffs scraping against the sturdy cement sink. At that point, her grip became more intense. She knew what she was doing. She felt like it was her duty to kill him. And she knew she succeeded when very slowly, he began to succumb. The thrashing had basically stopped, aside from the last few weak kicks he'd given, and he was barely resisting.

Ryoma was tired. A pounding in his head from earlier impact was starting to go down. That was it for him. He didn't have the energy to keep fighting, he didn't have the air. One last attempt at some kind of breath had done it. His body was lifeless.

His heartbeat stopped.

That was it.

Not that she'd tell anyone this, but after she had done everything she needed, Kirumi visited his ultimate lab. She picked up one of the tennis rackets he had used earlier that day, and quietly began to cry, racket to her chest.

Even though he'd almost been killed by the mafia he had barely managed to escape multiple times, drowning was the most painful thing that had happened to him. A past like his wasn't something you could reflect upon easily, but he tried his best, mostly just trying to keep the few good memories alive. 

Upon reflection, he saw a familiar face in the water, a distorted image he assumed he was just imagining. He kept staring at his reflection, the face vanishing and reappearing next to him, along with the rest of their body. They had sat down next to him, and gently placed their gloved hand on his shoulder.

Kirumi Tojo.

Ryoma glanced at the hand and over to her, who had a very distressed look on her face. Eye bags, along with messy hair makes it look like she hadn't slept in months. Without her saying anything, he could tell she wanted to get something off of her chest. Ryoma gave her a small yet reassuring smile, and adjusted his position a bit.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Ryoma offered, not really expecting much for an answer.

"Perhaps you should begin the conversation." Kirumi spoke briefly, a hint of sadness in her voice.

"I'm more of a listener, I want to hear how you're feeling," Ryoma looked back at the water briefly.

"Well, Regret mostly." She sounded ashamed.

"I know a lot about that..." He trailed off.

Kirumi nodded, now deep in thought. Much like Ryoma, she wasn't the best at voicing her thoughts. She had no idea how to process and properly share her emotions, having kept them bundled up inside her for so long definitely had a toll on her. Being known as a simple maid by most made people take her for granted. She's known for doing any task no matter how difficult, which often led to stressful days and even worse nights. No one checked up on her, seeming to be an expert on hiding true feeling.

"We're not so different, are we Tojo?" Ryoma started, fiddling with the candy cigarette in his hand, trying to make any type of conversation.

"What do you mean?" She looked at him curiously, a genuine look of confusion on her face.

"We're both misunderstood. We both wanted what was best to save everyone." He looked over at her again, a sincere smile on his face. "Although we showed it in different ways, we both cared about all of our classmates in the killing game."

"Ryoma I-"

"Listen, things happen. Pain and suffering is a normal part of life. Now, I'm not saying our lives were normal, you being prime minister and all..." 

"And you being a serial killer?"

"Unfortunately, yes... And me being a killer in hopes it would bring my family back... But, that's not the point. The point is, everything we've ever done, was for a reason. And no matter how much it hurts to think about, it's better to release it then to suffer until in breaks you."

Kirumi was definitely distressed. On one hand, she wants to talk about what she did, but at the same time, she's terrified that Ryoma will hate her. He seems calm and understanding, like usual, but she couldn't help but feel like he was forcing himself to talk to her. Nothing could've prepared her for the fact that she had murdered someone, manipulated him, called him weak because of his depressed state of mind, and then killed him in the most painful way possible. She couldn't do anything except think about it. The way he gave himself up, the truly hopeless look on his face after he realized he was truly alone in this world, the way he turned away from her, knowing everything was going to end for him.

"Ryoma... I..." She took a shallow breath, "Killing you was a mistake I shouldn't have made..."

"I don't think it was a mistake." 

"I murdered you... You had potential and... I ruined that.."

"How about... We ask questions about what happened?" Hoshi offered. "I'd like you to start."

"Questions? I'm guessing the answer has to be truthful huh..."

"I don't care if you lie... I guess it's just up to me to believe you... No matter what."

The maid looked at the ground below her, fiddling with the pleated rim of her skirt. She had always been more of an order taker, but he was actually listening to her. She tried to think of an easy to answer question to start things off. She felt her fingers tremble as she continued to fiddle, not a very good distraction she had given herself.

"Did you truly hate yourself?"

Ryoma looked at her puzzled, not the type of question he was expecting, but something that he'd definitely thought about in his past. He welcomed the question however, he needed to get better at expressing his feelings through words. It took him a bit to think about an answer that wouldn't hurt Kirumi even more than she already was. 

He thought about how he stared into the darkness at night, never being able to truly sleep comfortably. The flashbacks of everything he had seen while running from the police while doing his best to make sure he'd gotten his revenge on the mafia. The mafia fell, one by one as he dodged knives, bullets, and anything else that would've prevented his plan to prevail. He had seen so much blood that he had grown numb to the sight of it. Dead bodies were a normal thing for him to witness, and he very much wished he didn't win that tennis match, which would've unfortunately made him lose his undefeated record.

If only he knew that winning that tennis match would've escalated that quickly. If only he knew that everyone he'd ever loved would've been killed by the very organization he just wanted to mess with.

He never wanted to be a murderer.

"Yes, I did. Having a past like mine hurts y'know?" Ryoma sighed, "my life was ruined, and it was completely my fault. Everything that happened to me and my loved ones, and especially her... Could've been prevented. If only I hadn't been so stubborn. I threw away my future without even realizing it, and I ended up throwing away so many others along with me. Revenge is something best kept in theory. Well, I still hate myself, but that's something I keep in private."

"You said that so calmly..." Kirumi noted how he still had the same relaxed expression on his face he did when the questions started. "Do you mind... If I ask another?"

"You could ask a million questions kid, and I'd answer all of them." 

"Was there a time when you realized you didn't want to be killed?"

Ryoma paused and looked out to the distance, he didn't want to break her heart, but at the same time he was confident she already knew the answer to that question. Of course he knew the exact minute he wanted to survive, when he woke up underwater in pure shock. He thought he was already dead, he didn't expect anymore pain.

"I suppose you already know that answer, but since you asked, you deserve to know. It was when I woke up underwater. I realized that it would've been better for me to survive then to just accept the fact death was coming."

"That's why you were thrashing so much, wasn't it?"

"Indeed, having your life flash before your eyes is terrifying, I mean, you know how that is... But... Drowning hurts, everything's sucked out of you until you're nothing but a bag of bones. I realized at that moment, that I didn't want to die prematurely, like all my family had to."

Kirumi fell silent, she felt terrible for chosing the worst way to kill. She knew he'd answer like that, from the second she'd felt his heart begin to race she knew she was making a terrible mistake. She'd manipulated him into thinking she was the most important person in Japan, and that he was nothing. She made him believe... That he was nothing. She hates herself for calling him weak. Battling your own mind and past, especially living knowing you have literally no one, was one of the strongest things she'd ever heard.

"Looks like I still had a ways to go..." Ryoma briefly chuckled, a hint of despair could be heard.

"That's a terrible thing to say..."

"Just laughing through the pain Prime Minister Tojo."

"Why did you refer to me like that?"

"That's you isn't it?"

"I suppose..."

She couldn't think. It was hard for her to breathe, it was hard for her to do anything except run the image of Ryoma's skeleton at the bottom of the tank over and over again, like a scratched record, doing nothing but repeating a single lyric over and over and over again. Her heart was racing, she couldn't imagine what was going through Ryomas head. She just wanted to go back to earlier, to prevent Ryoma from ever dying. 

Maybe they could've survived together, and be the best mom and dad friends that anyone had ever seen.

"Sometimes life is nothing but suffering."

"Huh?"

"I know what you're going through. Regret and despair are two equally painful things to experience. I know you Kirumi. I know that you did what you thought was the absolute best thing you could've in your situation. I'm someone you're supposed to forget about after I'm used."

"No no... Ryoma don't say that about yourself..." Kirumi saw her vision fog up, looking over at Ryoma who was twiddling a candy cigarette idly.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of... Of course, it's my duty to answer all questions and take all requests."

Voice crack. Ryoma heard her monotone yet elegant voice crack, but didn't want to pull any attention to it, she'd already been through so much.

"Don't answer this like a maid... Answer it like a friend."

She gave a very subtle nod, wiping below her eyes, trying to make sure Ryoma didn't notice her crying. 

Ryoma noticed.

"What's the thing you regret most?" 

Ryomas question hit her hard, he could tell from her wide eyes and far away look, almost like she was zoned out, but she was clearly deep in thought. He was patient, there was quite a bit of silence, which he was more than used to. He already knew the answer to the question he had given. He already knew that no matter what, she wouldn't be able to get over it until she spoke her true feelings.

"Killing... Killing you..." She muttered, the answer was forced, she choked back her tears.

"Why?"

"You were suffering inside your head..."

"I've struggled with that for years."

"You... You looked helpless... I called you weak.... I... I manipulated you.. Things could've been different..."

"Specifically, which part was the worst?"

"Ryoma I... I can't answer that..."

"Please."

"Seeing... Seeing your..." Kirumi broke.

Kirumi broke. Tears began to stream down her face as she covered her mouth, she wasn't one to cry, but when she did, she let out ugly sobs and stared at the ground. Her hands were trembling, her entire body was trembling. She wasn't supposed to cry. She wasn't allowed to cry. She had to stay strong, it was the one thing she was good at, the one thing she actually was praised for. Her gentle facial features that hid so much behind her smile, her soft and seemingly innocent smile.

Kirumi felt an embrace. Two small yet strong arms wrapped around her, the former tennis pro's small body giving her the biggest bear hug he could, he wasn't the best at hugging, but he tried his absolute best. He felt her body jolt as she gasped, followed by a just as tight hug wrapped around him, Kirumis face nuzzled into Ryomas neck as she continued to cry, ugly sobs and all. 

"I'm so... I'm so sorry!" Her voice raised a bit, slightly startling Ryoma.

"No no. Thank you." He rubbed her back gently.

She couldn't process what she had just heard. Thank you. It rung in her head as she tried her hardest to wrap her head around what he could've possibly meant. Her tired mind. The maid was absolutely exhausted, she couldn't think, all she wanted to do was to stop the flow of tears spilling out of her eyes.

"You... You shouldn't... Be thanking me..." Her breaths were all shaky, her breath hitching with each one.

"Listen... It's over alright... All the suffering I had to deal with... My past doesn't matter anymore... I don't have to deal with the consequences... You killing me was the best thing that happened during that game."

Kirumi didn't feel like speaking anymore, more worried about fixing her breathing patterns. Ryoma understood completely, he shed few tears as he just stood there, comforting her the best he would while not saying anything. She appreciated him, she wanted to tell him she was sorry for every tiny thing she had done, especially planning his murder. The second she saw her motive video, she already knew who her target would've been. She chose the person she believed was the most weak and vulnerable.

She never realized she'd feel so bad.

"Kirumi, I don't want you to force yourself to stop crying. I want you to let it out until you no longer can."

"I'm... I'm sorry... This whole killing game thing... The motive video... It got to my head..."

"I forgive you."

They stayed in that position for awhile, even after Kirumi had stopped crying, he just wanted to make her feel secure in this difficult time. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were puffy, her eyes were closed, just resting her head on his broad shoulders. It was serene for a moment, the two of them, though they'd never really talked during their time in the game, they had plenty of time to show who they really were now. 

A male and a female voice interrupted their comfortable scenario, two voices which were both familiar to both Ryoma and Kirumi. Their voices we're tired, like they'd had a very similar, yet strange conversation.

"Room for two more?"

**Author's Note:**

> My first time writing these two, hope they're not too ooc.


End file.
